I found this on Arlette's blog (Ranching with Sheep) - it was very timely:
1. Strength is not a matter of size. We are much stronger than we think if only we believe we can.
2. The biggest effort is getting started.
3. When you gain a little momentum go with it and keep it rolling.
4. If you get caught in a depression it's okay to sit, rest and ponder for a bit.
5. If you find yourself wallowing in your depression or getting angry, you've been sitting for too long or trying too hard.
6. Going uphill is more difficult no matter how small the load or slight the incline.
7. It really is easier to go with the downhill flow of life.
8. It's okay to cut the strings that tie you up and spread yourself out a little.
9. If life isn't unrolling smoothly you need to turn and go a different direction.
10. Sometimes all of your best efforts will go unnoticed and some days we all need the freedom to run around and be crazy.
I've been stuck in #5 for too long...
I tried to take Merlin to the auction on Saturday. I started early, catching him, giving him a sedative, letting him eat while it took effect, etc. I lead both he and Chris down to the trailer so he wouldn't freak out. After trying unsuccessfully to load him with Chris standing outside, I put Chris in the trailer (told him to duck, and he did), and tried again. After an hour and a half, I lost it.
Realizing that it would be counter productive to continue, I put the boys away, and went in the house and cried. It's hard enough to make the decision - it's doubly hard when the horse in question knows something's up. It's three times harder when the freaking drugs that cost $28 don't do squat...
So, and so. I will try again this weekend. I will see if the vet can come out Friday afternoon to give him really, really good drugs, and haul him over Friday. I've talked to a friend about borrowing his trailer - however, he thinks that even though it's a slant, it's shorter in height than mine, which makes borrowing it a less than ideal solution.
On a happier note:
Call me a duck! This was done by On the Rocks - a local group that went national, though they didn't win (they should have...).
Flock the village! My boss' wife and daughter were in this crowd somewhere!
And, the Wolf Pack won, too!!
Life is really ok...